Excuses, excuses…they feel so good. Like a warm blanket protecting us from shattering our fragile egos. Here are some pre- and post-match excuses used in women’s doubles that may be the leading cause of coach eye-rolling:

Why do you think you lost that match?

The other team kept asking what the score was, and I just lost it.

The other team made too many bad line calls.

They were crazy lobbers, it drove us bananas!

I was thinking about where I had to go after the match.

The opponent had really funky looking braces. It’s all I could think about.

The opponent was an aggressive gum chewer.

The opponent’s age was the same as the temperature…75. Reminded me of my grandma, I was worried she might pass out.

I had a rough night.

Too thirsty.

Too hot.

Too cold.

Too sunny.

Too windy.

My racquet sucks.

The balls were too bouncy.

Wardrobe malfunction.

Just felt icky.

My in-laws are coming for Thanksgiving dinner.

Didn’t you hear all those birds squawking?

It was a full moon.

Solar flares, they make me cooky.

My partner was telling me what to do all the time, and I couldn’t keep my head in the game.

My partner was freaking out.

It’s my partner, I can’t play with her.

You’re the Coach, shouldn’t you be telling me the answer to that?

We may think a lot of these are absolutely legitimate, and we may wonder how it’s even possible to win with all those distractions. Hmmm, wonder what Coach thinks?